"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God." Matthew 5:8
My youngest daughter happens to have Down Syndrome. She is fourteen and has baby teeth that still need to ‘get going’. Today, a stubborn tooth finally gave up and let go. It skedaddled. She was excited. We went to the bathroom. She rinsed and spit repeatedly, in the way only a Down Syndrome kid can. A paper towel was folded and rolled and placed in the empty space. She bit down.
While she lay on the couch, she smiled and giggled when she checked the paper towel. I said she might receive $2 for her tooth. No response. Nothing. I asked if she would
like $5 and she shook her head ‘no’. I asked if she would like a “Cerci” and she
nodded ‘yes’.
What's a Cerci? A Cerci never fails to brighten your day because it shows someone thought of you. It's a surprise, an unexpected treat of no more than a few dollars. My wife introduced me to my first Cerci in college; a Frisco burger from Hardees. Candy, fountain drinks, and Icees always works. Ice cream is a favorite. Toys work. Socks our oldest daughter really, really wanted elicited a big broad smile a few years back.
Our daughter prefers the Cerci because money is meaningless in her world. It has no value. She knows money can get her stuff but Barbie’s, little people, and her Tangled CD have more meaning. Food is important. Spending time with her family is special for her. Board games, dinner at the table, going to the park, and especially movies "with the whole family". She makes sure everyone is sitting and ready before she pushes play.
Necessities of life do not concern her. Material possessions do not consume her. She trusts they will always be provided. Milk. OJ. Peanut Butter. Saturday morning pancakes. Her after-school snack. Clothes. Shoes. A coat for winter. Hot water for her bath. She doesn’t worry about what isn’t her responsibility. She trusts because she cannot navigate this world without trusting others who place her interest above their own interest.
She does worry though. She is scared of thunder storms. She is afraid of the dark. Loud places and loud people make her nervous. She fears the unknown and gets anxious and gags, She has vomited. "The Unknowns" exist in mass quantity for her. They slither and invade her world disguised as bowling alleys, doctor offices, restaurants and the first day of school. She doesn’t allow that worry and fear to settle down for a long winter's nap. She adapts. She is a trooper. We are privileged to watch her strength and courage every day that others only read about or imagine.
When she gets angry, she says so. Only the truth according to her life. When she decides to be stubborn, there is no malice involved or ill will... she is sad/mad she can't do what she wants. She accepts the resolution and soon forgets about it. No Hatfield-McCoy grudge. No whining. She moves on to find something else to do, something she likes. She doesn’t... no, she never dwells on the negative and is innately a half-full-kind-of-girl.
What's a Cerci? A Cerci never fails to brighten your day because it shows someone thought of you. It's a surprise, an unexpected treat of no more than a few dollars. My wife introduced me to my first Cerci in college; a Frisco burger from Hardees. Candy, fountain drinks, and Icees always works. Ice cream is a favorite. Toys work. Socks our oldest daughter really, really wanted elicited a big broad smile a few years back.
Our daughter prefers the Cerci because money is meaningless in her world. It has no value. She knows money can get her stuff but Barbie’s, little people, and her Tangled CD have more meaning. Food is important. Spending time with her family is special for her. Board games, dinner at the table, going to the park, and especially movies "with the whole family". She makes sure everyone is sitting and ready before she pushes play.
Necessities of life do not concern her. Material possessions do not consume her. She trusts they will always be provided. Milk. OJ. Peanut Butter. Saturday morning pancakes. Her after-school snack. Clothes. Shoes. A coat for winter. Hot water for her bath. She doesn’t worry about what isn’t her responsibility. She trusts because she cannot navigate this world without trusting others who place her interest above their own interest.
She does worry though. She is scared of thunder storms. She is afraid of the dark. Loud places and loud people make her nervous. She fears the unknown and gets anxious and gags, She has vomited. "The Unknowns" exist in mass quantity for her. They slither and invade her world disguised as bowling alleys, doctor offices, restaurants and the first day of school. She doesn’t allow that worry and fear to settle down for a long winter's nap. She adapts. She is a trooper. We are privileged to watch her strength and courage every day that others only read about or imagine.
When she gets angry, she says so. Only the truth according to her life. When she decides to be stubborn, there is no malice involved or ill will... she is sad/mad she can't do what she wants. She accepts the resolution and soon forgets about it. No Hatfield-McCoy grudge. No whining. She moves on to find something else to do, something she likes. She doesn’t... no, she never dwells on the negative and is innately a half-full-kind-of-girl.
She has tender feelings that get hurt. At times, she is devastated by what other do and say. When that happens, she sobs deep heavy sobs. Sobs where you sit silently and hug her and let her smear snot on your shirt. Sobs that leave a gooey sticky mess behind. She explains so-and-so "hurt my feelings" and when she is ready, she forgives wholly and fully.
When she is punished, she is genuinely sorry for what she has done or said. She apologizes with the kindness and gentleness that only a teen with Down Syndrome can do. Oh, she gives plenty of hugs and kisses with her apologies. She may hold and pat your hand. Your head and face will get rubbed. She will say, “I’m sorry” until she feels everything back to normal and you know she is sorry for what happened. She wants to make things right.
She gets upset when her brother or sister get into trouble. She does not like when they are sad. She wants them to be happy. She will do her very best to make them feel better. She is good at it because she loves them and she shows her love. But, she says “I Love You” only if we say it first and ask her to say it back. She never voluntarily says it. She prefers to tell us how "sweet" we are. We know, without question, she loves us.
The blessing God has bestowed upon our family has changed us forever. We are privileged to watch and know what God wants from us; to just be content. She navigates an unique world each day she gets out of bed. The obstacles she encounters during the day do not steal her joy. She rarely complains. I can’t remember the last time she had a no good bad horrible day.
The secret to joy is to be like her. She loves and forgives and trusts. She is content. Satisfied with today and lets tomorrow take care of itself. Her heart is not corrupt with pride and ego. When asked "Where does Jesus live?"... she will point to her heart.
I wish I could trust God they way she trusts her mother and I, the way she trusts her teachers, her brother and sister, doctors, and so on. The list is long. I try and fail and try again. I don’t think I will ever be as good as she is.
Her weakness strengthens us.
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