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Saturday, May 12

Lessons From Poor Friends

What makes a good friend? What characteristics do you value? I ask only because my daughter experienced a great deal of pain learning what good friends don’t do, or shouldn’t do. It started with her sophomore schedule that differed greatly with her current friends, specifically lunch. She would not have the same lunch as her friends. Trying to find a niche in that environment, where one gets tossed around by the sea, only served to frustrate her and steal her joy. 

The discussion meandered toward God and her prayers that He help her find better friends. She acknowledged for God to place new friends in her life, her current friends needed to be removed. Eight months later, her high school experience changed. She found friends who accept her, as is. Friends who genuinely want her to be successful and are happy for her when she succeeds. They support her. They root for her.  Friends who help her become better. Best of all, she is more comfortable with who she is and more importantly, who she isn't.

Tears are no longer part of the afternoon conversations how her best friend stopped talking to her without an explanation. Or a five page text from a friend criticizing her opinion about what's godly and what's not godly. Or being falsely accused of saying something. She no longer has to compete with friends ready to elevate themselves at her expense.  The friends who made her feel bad, even horrible, are no longer part of her life. That pain taught her what good friends don’t do. 

She knows she is good. She knows she is valuable. She's attempting to find her niche in this life; her purpose. All of it came because she left the life she built and knew and trusted God for a better life. Much of her new identity comes from Jesus Christ. She is learning to ignore what others say about her. She learned people and society frequently change their opinion without reason. 

Today, she knows what she wants from her friends. She is happier because her identity was found, and continues to be found in the unchangeable God. The price paid, the pain and hurt she endured, was a bargain considering I know women, married with three children, who haven't figured it out yet.  

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