The question still stands, how do I honor my parents who aren’t especially honorable? Think about teachers, principals, law enforcement, or judges... they are all respected, regardless of the person. You may not like your teacher, but you honor their title. You may think a judge is uncaring, but you honor the position. I want to be clear, God commands us to honor the POSITION of father and mother, not necessarily the individual person. We are to honor the position whether they are our biological parents, step parents, or even if they are no longer in your life. It’s not because they deserve it, we do it because God says it’s good for us. One more time, it is good for us to do so.
The essential part you have to perform is to honestly define the parental relationship as best you can. Don't pretend it’s better (or worse) than it is, good or bad… it is what it is. It's important to see your parents for who they are. And, who they are isn’t your fault. They struggle through days just as you struggle through days. Their struggles and obstacles are different, but still difficult to overcome. If your home life is abusive or neglectful, confide in someone you trust... a friend, family member, teacher, pastor, coach, etc. Jesus refers to Himself as the Way, the Truth, the Life (John 14:6) and the Light (John 8:12). You honor Him and your parents when you expose the truth. You honor God when you define your reality.
Jesus says to pray for your enemies. If you are to pray for your enemies, then you can pray for your parents. You can serve them, love them, and bless them the best you can. You can pray they have a good morning. You can pray they have a great cup of coffee. You can pray traffic isn’t too bad as they drive home. Pray they sleep well. Pray dinner goes perfectly. Pray God helps you say the right words and do the right things. If a parent is frustrated, irritated, or angry… pray God protects you and your siblings. The point is, tell God what you feel and what’s on your mind. He will answer.
I am not naive enough to think your parents give you what you need. Instead of love, you may receive cruelty. Instead of feeling worthy, you may feel worthless. Instead of security, you may be scared. Know, absolutely know, those things are not of God. God knows you need parents to love you, to teach you, to build you up, to encourage you. He knows you need to depend on them and trust them. If your parents treat you poorly, know this too… you deserve better. I’ll bet you already know you deserve better, and if you aren’t sure, God says you deserve better. One more time, you deserve better. Trust that God knows, sees, and hears you. Know you are not alone.
Over the years, I have learned God can be a pretty good mother and father. He knows what you need. He knows you need to be loved. He knows you need to be protected. He knows you need to feel worthy. God made you (read Psalm 139). Let Him love you. Let Him protect you. Let Him make you feel worthy. Let Him guide you in your life. Seek Him and His kingdom first in all you do and He will bless you beyond what you thought was possible.
Have a good and godly day.
Over the years, I have learned God can be a pretty good mother and father. He knows what you need. He knows you need to be loved. He knows you need to be protected. He knows you need to feel worthy. God made you (read Psalm 139). Let Him love you. Let Him protect you. Let Him make you feel worthy. Let Him guide you in your life. Seek Him and His kingdom first in all you do and He will bless you beyond what you thought was possible.
Have a good and godly day.
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