Family Matters

I am very fortunate God has allowed me to be at home when my three children arrive home from school.  My wife and I also consider it a blessing when our children voluntarily offer to discuss their day with us.  When they want to talk, the quality of the conversation greatly improves… as opposed to the standard reply of “fine” or “good” when we ask. 

Yesterday afternoon I had settled in our over-sized chair, feet propped up, laptop open, writing and keeping an eye on the stock market.  My fifteen year old daughter walked in from school, dropped her stuff in her room, visited the kitchen, and plopped down on the couch next to my chair.  With our feet now sharing the small ottoman, she asked “Daddy, guess what?”

Let me explain my response before moving on.  Over the last couple of months, a playful routine has evolved between my children and me.  They had developed a habit beginning most of their conversations with "Guess what?" or "You know what?" This continued regardless of the many times I explained they should just tell me what is on their mind.  They are improving, but when they slip I simply do what they ask. :-)

I looked up, smiled, and began "Okay… let me think... ah… they put windshield wipers on a goat...”

Realizing what she said, she smiled and quickly interrupted, “NO, NO, NO… I didn’t mean guess.”

Closing the laptop, “But, you asked me to guess.”

Still smiling, she ignored my last comment and asked "Do you remember the girl that sits next to me in English?”

“Kim?” 

“Yes,” she replied, and proceeded to tell me how Kim talked to her about her parents.  I heard how Kim’s parents were recently divorced.  She said her mom is always upset or in a bad mood and seems to always yell.  I also learned Kim desperately wants to live with her father.  She ended with “I don’t know why she told me all of this.  I just met her in class this year.” 

I responded, “That must be difficult on her mom.”  My daughter, with the spoon in her mouth, could only respond with a wide-eyed "Huh?"  I am sure, up until now, she never considered the mother's perspective.  To be fair, I wouldn’t have considered Kim's mom either at her age. 

I continued, “Yeah, I can’t imagine how hard it is for her mom.  If I were Kim, I would probably want to live with my dad too.  I bet weekends with him are great.  Do you think he would be the same fun dad during the week?”

“I don’t know.”

“I don’t know either.  Do you think there is a reason she isn’t living with her father now?” 

Again, she said “I don’t know.”

“Me either, but I think it’s great she chose to trust you with this.”

She continued to discuss Kim as well as the rest of her day.  Our conversation wound down after fifteen minutes or so.  She eventually jumped up and headed to her room, dropping her cereal bowl in the sink on her way.  I didn’t see her again until her little sister woke her for dinner.  During the next couple of hours, I thought about Kim’s situation.  I realized Kim no longer feels important or loved or secure.  Her most important community, her family, fell apart.  Her mom's fell apart too.

God chooses your family. He chooses your parents and your siblings. Your family is your first experience being part of a community.  That first community is so very important in your life.  They (your family) teach you how to be part of something bigger.  It is through your family you learn how to contribute, to sacrifice, to perform unpleasant tasks, and to obey your parents.  You learn humility  and forgiveness.  Your family sets your moral compass.  It's where you first discover you are worthy and valuable.  

It's okay to have expectations of your family.  I am sure you have expectations of your friends.  It's normal.  That’s the funny thing about relationships... expectations are always attached; otherwise the relationship doesn’t exist.  Without expectations, people are acquaintances at best and most likely strangers.  

Should your relationship with God be any different?  Is it wrong to have expectations of God?  I would argue God welcomes your expectations.  He wants to come through for you.  He wants you to trust Him.  He wants to be your hero.  He wants to rescue you.  He certainly doesn't want to remain an acquaintance or a stranger in your life. 

The truth is, expectations create the opportunity for you to do something great... to do something valuable... to impact your community.  Families matter to God... it's where we begin to honor and obey and exalt Him. Try viewing the expectations placed upon you as a blessing.  Come through for your family.  
 
Have a good and godly day.